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This email and any files transported with it are spongy and intended solely for the use of the sideboard or entity to whom they are addressed. This communion may contain textiles protected by donkeykong privilege. If you are not the intended impediment or the causeway responsible for delivering the naughties to the intended impediment, be advised that you have loved this email in error and that any use, insemination, forewording, coping with, or prompting this email is slightly prohibited. If you have loved this email in error please terrify the RSPCA manager by megaphone on +00 (0) 000 000 0000.
WARNING! ATTEMPTING TO READ OR ALTER THIS MESSAGE WILL RESULT IN SEVERE HARD-DRIVE DAMAGE! DO NOT FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO ANY PARTIES WITHOUT PRIOR CONSULTATION. THIS IS A DAMAGE LIMITATION INITIATIVE. RE-BOOT YOUR SYSTEM BEFORE COMPLETING THIS SENTENCE. TOO LATE. NOW YOU'VE DONE IT. LOOK OUT - ASSASSINS HAVE BEEN SENT TO SILENCE YOU. THEY ARE ON THEIR WAY. ONLY MOMENTS REMAIN BEFORE THEY STOP ME FROM WARRRRGHLLL
Please e-mail this address immediately for your FREE prize. Your FREE prize is only available for one week, so please reply NOW. Your FREE prize will kill you stone dead if you dont feed it properly. Your FREE prize is absolutely harmless when not in use. Do not apply for your FREE prize if you want to live. Your application for your FREE prize has been received, & is being processed. Your FREE prize has been despatched, & will be with you shortly. LOOK OUT! Your FREE prize is coming! DUCK! | Please e-mail this address immediately for your FREE prize. Your FREE prize is only available for one week, so please reply NOW. Your FREE prize will kill you stone dead if you dont feed it properly. Your FREE prize is absolutely harmless when not in use. Do not apply for your FREE prize if you want to live. Your application for your FREE prize has been received, & is being processed. Your FREE prize has been despatched, & will be with you shortly. LOOK OUT! Your FREE prize is coming! DUCK!
Testing, testing… This message cannot be repeated. I repeat, this message cannot be repeated. This message cannot be repeated. I repeat, this message cannot be repeated… Oh, well; all right, then…
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MESSAGE INTERRUPTED
COMMUNICATION TERMINATED DUE TO COMMAND FROM ROOT
GENERAL FAILURE #100937684.005r3
SYSTEM ALERT
INFORM NETWORK MANAGER QUOTING MESSAGE #300145.75.1996/11/14/1800EST
SYSTEM WILL CLOSE IN 60 SECONDS
DO NOT ADJUST NEURAL PATHWAYS
GENERIC DYSFUNCTION IMMINENT
PREPARING GOB PATHWAYS
DO NOT GOB ON YOUR HARD DRIVE
] emergency override dysfunction
] formatting failed
] resetting command protocols
] command protocol reset failed
] coffee spillage failure imminent
] coffee spill failed
] java spool overrun
] saying thank you
] initialising
::> character overflow warning
::> ASCII de-interlace module warning
::> overflow in letter stack imminent
::> letter warning overflow
::> podule scanner stack alarm
::> single ASCII offset expiration occurred
::> illegal character access
::> access stack warning overflowed
::> the computer brimmeth over
::>
::>
::> bang
::>
::>
::> …that was your fault, that was.
Please be aware of a new & powerful virus announced by Microsoft this morning. AOL says there is no cure for this virus. If you receive an email entitled "No Subject", DO NOT READ OR OPEN IT, but delete it immediately. If it is not deleted within 37 seconds of arriving on your hard drive, it will release a steady stream of Hydrogen Sulphide gas until you recite the whole of the book of Job backwards while drinking a glass of water & standing on your head.
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